The BIG six.

Lately I have been feeling quite energized, excited, and hopeful - so, I decided that I am NOT going to contact my caseworker this month (as I usually do), I just don't want to hear anymore bad news about delays. Anyway, now that the busyness of Christmas has passed, I have an awful feeling that January is going to ddddrrrraaaagggg on forever - finding out that we have another month added to our wait is just not what I need to hear right now. So, I am going to sit in my "8+ months" bubble for a little while longer.

Cheers to 6 months.

Rockin' it out on Christmas

My two favorite rockstars... The first thing Sara said when we got in the car, on our way home from my parents, was "Oh boy, now the Easter Bunny will come soon!"

Congratulations!

Congratulations to Sarah and Dae on your Christmas referrals, although you both waited WAY to long to tell us, but I forgive you :) :) :) You made Christmas even more special - you have made it a bit more real for me that this will happen and I dreamed of my baby all week long...thank you.

Merry Christmas to my baby far far away...

When Sara first came home to us, I would dance with her to this song everyday...I can't wait to repeat this tradition...

I know that we will be blessed with our second miracle soon...I am at peace.

Miracle by Celine Dion

You’re my life’s one miracle
Everything I’ve done that’s good
And you break my heart with tenderness
And I confess it’s true
I never knew love like this ‘til you

You’re the reason I was born
Now I finally know for sure
And I’m overwhelmed with happiness
So blessed to hold you close
That one that I love most
Though the future has so much for you in store
Who could ever love you more?

The nearest thing to heaven
You’re my angel from above
Only God creates such perfect love

When smile at me, I cry
And to save your life I’d die
With a romance that is pure in heart
You are my dearest part
Whatever it requires
I live for your desires
Forget my own, your needs will come before
Who could ever love you more?

There is nothing you could ever do
To make me stop loving you
And every breath I take
Is always for your sake
You sleep inside my dreams and know for sure
Who could ever love you more?

Charlie Brown tree.

So this is what you get when you ask your husband to go pick out the Christmas Tree. I gave him two simple instructions - "not too expensive and not too big". Well, I certainly got what I literally asked for. When I saw it, I could not stop laughing. And, oh yes, the picture is not deceiving - it is that pathetic. Please remind me next year to be MUCH more specific with my instructions or go get it myself.

Sara was so excited to decorate the tree, I would not have dared send him back for another. And I honestly thought that maybe if we decorated it and it settled into itself that it would look better...I was mistaken. In fact, the next day, after Sara's excitement about the tree had subsided, she even realized that something was just not right with the poor Charlie Brown tree - she asked "Daddy, when are we going to get a Christmas tree like this..."

I can't believe I am going to say this but...

I did not think about the adoption for almost one whole week...I wish I could be on vacation for the next four months.

Las Vegas was FABULOUS. If you want a distraction, Vegas is certainly the place to do it. It was such a great relief to be free of mind for a while...now back to the real word - aaah, the habits of home and life.

I even made it on to the Hot Tamolly Train with Mary Murphy from So You Think You can Dance.

Christmas Cheer

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

It is what it is.

I have come to realize that most of my frustrations/anxiety during this process really have nothing to do with the actual process, but rather the constantly changing timelines. We have gone from 2-4 months, to 4-6 months, to 6+ months, to 7+ months, and now 8+ months. With every month behind us, another is added in its place - I feel we are making no progress what-so-ever. I think I would be much more accepting and settled if the wait times would not keep changing, whether it were 2 months or 2 years - at least we would not have so many false expectations and could mentally prepare for our wait accordingly. Each change in our wait time means having to readjust my mental timeline - this is exhausting and draining, emotionally and physically.

Do I sometime wish we would have started this process sooner (especially when you look back at families from last year who only waited about 2 months for a referral)? - yes, but only sometimes. The reality is that this is our journey and I don't understand or can't explain why our journey is different, shorter/longer, more/less complicated then others - but it is what it is. God had another plan for me and I have accepted my path - Not to say that this acceptance has come easily or that I do not slip back into the "why me?" mode from time to time. The bottom line is that life is not fair; however, we need to take what life gives us and do our best to make it right - to make it meaningful - to make it worth something. As much as I get frustrated, angry and pissed off at times, I am also grateful for everything that this journey has and will bring - a test of patience, a sense of meaning, an appreciation for what is important in life, and most importantly, a beautiful and amazing family that I would not change/trade for anything.

To my Australian blogger...

I would love to know more about the adoption process in Australia - Why does it take so long to adopt from Ethiopia? I fully appreciate your comments and can truly say that I cannot even begin to imagine having this whole process take over 4 years.

"8+ months"

I was told "8+ months" for referrals today. I have nothing to say...