Sunday, February 28, 2010

Oh joy, oh bliss, oh crap, oh piss...

February has ended and we have reached 20 months of waiting. I just don't have the energy to collect all my thoughts in an organized post, so instead, I have compiled some random thoughts, feelings, things to ponder about adoption, waiting and life in general...

Congratulations to all the families who passed court this month. I hope by the time you travel, I can send a care package along with you.

Thank you secret pal for the wonderful gift! And even better, were your words of encouragement in the card. This is my first time participating in secret pal and I'm so glad I did. Can't wait until March.

The only good thing about not getting a referral during February is that it is a short month and it is now over.

Why do I ALWAYS pick the slow line at the grocery store?

It is really shitty that there have been no referrals in almost four weeks.

My birthday is this Friday. I wonder if my wish will come true? I turn 36. If someone told me 10 years ago that I would not be finished having all my children by the time I was 36 - I would have truly laughed at them uncontrollably.

I have had a constant knot in my stomach for over a month. Is that normal?

I am slowly letting go of Sara's clothes having to match. She now picks out her outfits for school each morning, and if she likes it, she wears it. Breathe, pink and red DO look just fine together.

I just started a Circuit Training DVD, by Jillian Michaels (from the Biggest Loser) - pain...burn...exhausion - how can that feel good??? But it does!

I wish we had planned a hot holiday this winter.

Will I run the marathon this year or won't I???? If I do, I better get my lazy ass into gear very soon.

It means SO much to me that there are so many wonderful people in my life (in person and online) that keep me going each and everyday - every little bit of encouragement is appreciated and so needed, especially right now.

I am not sleeping very well lately, which is unusual for me.

I am sick and tired of telling people "maybe we will hear something tomorrow, or next week, or next month, we just don't know", with a cute smile and shrug of the shoulders.

I am upset for C, L, R, and S, with all the crap they are going through right now - no one should have to go through that!

Will March be THE month?

Friday, February 26, 2010

Meet Me Half Way

I was tagged by Sharla to play this little game - how did she know I needed a distraction...

1. Put your I-pod, ITunes, Windows Media Player etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question press the Next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song no matter how silly it sounds.
4. Tag at least 10 friends.
5. Have fun!

If someone says "are you okay?” Love Drunk (Boys Like Girls) – I do love Chad a lot, but “Love Drunk”, maybe in our first year together.

How Would You Describe Yourself? We Made You (Eminem) – ?????

What do you like in a guy/girl? I Kissed a Girl (Katy Perry) – Well, Chad does sometimes wonder about me…

How do you feel today? Keeps Getting’ Better (Christina Aguilera) – I sure hope this is true.

What is your life's purpose? Know Your Enemy (Green Day) - I would say that sometimes this is true.

What's your motto? Gives You Hell (The All-American Rejects) - Sometimes.

What do your friends think of you? Right Round (Flo Rida) – If this means “crazy”, its true!

What do your parents think of you? Annie’s Song (John Denver) – The words are fitting, I think they would agree. But in fact, this was our wedding song.

What do you think about very often? Down (Jay Sean & Lil Wayne) – Well, it is not what I think about, but it certainly is how I have been feeling lately.

What is 2 + 2? 4 in the Morning (Gwen Stafani) – RIGHT ON!!! What are the chances? Maybe my luck is changing.

What do you think of your best friend? This Women’s Work (Kate Bush) – Oh, this one is GOOOOOD. And I absolutely love this song too!!

What is your life story? I Hope you Dance (Lee Ann Womack) – Very fitting. I used to dance around the living room to put Sara to sleep with this song.

What do you want to be when you grown up? Big Girls Don’t Cry (Fergie) – Not me at all, everyone needs a good cry!

What do you think when you see the person you like? Womanizer (Britney Spears) - ????

What will you dance to at your wedding? My Life Would Suck Without You (Kelly Clarkson) – True, but not the right song – it was Annie’s Song by John Denver.

What will they play at your funeral? Beautiful (Akon) – Ok, I’ll take it.

What is your hobby/interest? Replay (Iyaz) – Well, if you count refreshing my computer all day long, this one is right on too.

What is your biggest fear? Poker Face (Lady GaGa) – I do hate it when I can’t read people.

What is your biggest secret? Sweet Dreams (Beyonce) - ???

What do you want right now? One Time (Justin Bieber) – What I want is my baby!!!! But honestly, I walked passed Justin Bieber in the mall over Christmas (his dad lives in Winnipeg), with a mob of girls following him – I had to ask someone who it was…I am really not cool anymore…was I ever?

What do you think of your friends? You Found Me (The Fray) – Some of them!

What will you post this as? Meet Me Half Way (Black Eyed Peas)

I tag Ashleigh, Connie, Dana, Emily, Janice, Joy, Katie, Lyndsey, Sarah, and Sarah.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Weekends and Weekdays re Adoption

Weekdays are "business as usual" for everyone in the adoption world, this includes Imagine (who will process our referral), our provincial government (who will be the first to receive our referral from Imagine and approve), and our adoption agency (who will be calling ME about our referral). Weekends mean that everything shuts down and all is at a stand still until the weekend ends.

Weekdays mean that every time my phone rings, I jump - and when the caller is "unknown", my heart stops for a moment. When I see a voice message on my phone, I panic. And my cell phone is always fully charged before I go out. Weekends mean when the phone rings, I don't really care and most often, I even let Chad answer the phone. And if I leave my cell phone at home when I am out - no big deal.

Weekdays I check the forum and my email regularly, to see if any new referrals have come through. Weekends, well, who am I kidding, I still check everything just as often - you never know, maybe there will be a late referral announcement. The only difference is that on the weekends, I don't have the 'work guilt' when checking.

Bottom line, whether it is a weekday or a weekend, morning, noon, or night, waiting SUCKS!!!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Results: Who will we welcome into our family?

A boy, 0-6 months - 6 (13%)
A girl, 0-6 months - 2 (4%)
A boy, 7-12 months - 20 (44%)
A girl, 7-12 months - 2 (4%)
A boy, 13-18 months - 10 (22%)
A girl, 13-18 months - 5 (11%)

Just as I suspected - if I had to guess, these would have been the results I expected - based both on facts and feelings. FACT: Most either gender referrals tend to be boys and the older the request, the older the referral tends to be - at least this is what I have noticed. FEELING: I have predominant boy thoughts and most of my dreams are of a baby boy just starting to walk. But as I said previously, it really doesn't matter whatsoever - I know our baby is somewhere out there and only God knows when we will finally be together.

Thanks for the fun, it was great seeing all the votes come in!!!

We will see...

...soon I hope!!!!

Friday, February 05, 2010

I promise, there is no right or wrong answer to this one...

I promise, there is no right or wrong answer to this poll - we see this child as "the one" chose for us - younger, older, boy, or girl...

I can't wait to start preparing (physically that is, because God knows, I have been mentally and emotionally preparing for years now) for the arrival of our little sweetheart. I am always looking at children's clothes and supplies and wondering when I will be able to start buying and decorating. Chad asked me the other day whether we should be keeping the crib, and I said "yes, of course, we have no idea if we will need it or not". And I almost bought a cuttest little winter hat yesterday...but was able to stop myself.

I am just getting so darn excited...

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

My Typical Day