Sunday, December 06, 2009

Sucker for Punishment

I have been having this feeling lately...

This strange, yet all too familiar feeling...

Do I even dare say it...?

I am feeling like we are close!

Yup, that's right, I said it! I know, I can't believe I am even going there. Like I don't know any better or something - Like I don't know the all too familiar end to this story...a night of wine, chocolate and tears, when yet again, I realize that my 'feeling' is wrong. And the cycle of emotional abuse begins again...and again...and again...and again. What a sucker for punishment.

Thing is, as sad as that sounds, if I did not have the "ups" with the "downs", I have no idea how I would have gotten through the past few years - the up days push me through the down days. The ups bring hope and faith and make the downs (almost) bearable.

So why am I feeling so close...? There has been talk that we could possibly see referrals by Christmas - what a gift that would be - even though it will not be ours, the thought of ANY referral is so exciting. And once referrals start, I know that ours could not be too far behind...how could I not be up at the thought of that!?!?!

So, I will ride this feeling for as long as I can. And who knows, maybe (just maybe) it won't ever have to end...

11 comments:

lyndsey&kevin said...

I hope you are right!!!!

I understand the sucker for punishment all too well.

Hang in there!!!

The Warren Family said...

I can relate to how you are feeling as well. I hope you are right also! What a great Xmas gift it would be to see things start to move again.

K_I_T_ said...

Oh, i hope you are right and you get a referral SOON! Glad there are ups for you and that you are not just down! It's easier when you have a positive attitude about things, cause there is nothing we can do to make the process any faster....or easier, so may as well be positive about it. Yeah, we all get a few down days thrown in there, but it makes the good days feel even better. I really, really hope you hear soon. And I think once we all signed the forms to start this process signed a "sucker for punishment" section somewhere in the paper work. They just must have labeled it something else.... ;)

Ashleigh, Ben, Noah and Tait said...

Keep ridin' it.

I don't think it's a feeling...all we need is ONE, to kick start the slide of many many exciting months ahead.

Think positive. You are not a sucker and we will not be punished anymore :)

The next bottle of wine and box of chocolates will be a celebratory one.

Ashleigh

Stephanie said...

You are close......can't wait to clebrate with you!!!

Steph :-)

Rana and Yvan said...

Ooooh! Wouldn't that be the best Christmas present EVER!!!

Connie said...

I hope your feeling is right! That would be a fantastic Christmas gift!

Janice said...

I totally agree Laura, any referrals will bring us one step closer. I'm just dying for another email from Imagine right now.

emily and mike said...

ahhh!!!! I just got goosebumps. Christmas referrals??? really? That would be so amazing. I'm glad you are on an "up" right now and I think that you should not feel crazy for feeling like you could be close.
I think so too!

Sharla said...

To see even one referral from the new Imagine would just bring so much hope and renewed energy I think to all those that are waiting. You guys must be fairly near the top of the list and to be able to start crossing others off again and watch yourself move up after so many month of no movement would be pretty exhilarating! Yeah to UP DAYS!

Greg & Leanne said...

Trust your gut. Hope is an amazing feeling of joy.