Well, today we got 'it' - the one thing I have been holding onto over the past month or so - we had not yet received our dreaded homestudy update reminder. But today I held in my hands the one thing I really didn't think we would ever have to look at again. I said to a friend only yesterday "If/when that homestudy update does come, my heart will fall deep into my stomach". My last blog post was titled 'My heart is hurting', and today, my heart is now being digested by my stomach.Our homestudy update is due back to our agency by the end of May. So, I ask you this - if you were us, at what point would you start making all your crappy, time consuming appointments to start the paperwork for the update? Next week? Next month? How long would you hold out for?
And to top it off, the update is not just a simple one, it is THE BIG two year update, with doctors appointments, fingerprints, criminal checks, letters from employers, reference letters, notice of assessments, and the list goes on - and the $$$$$$ piles up for each little piece. I was saying to my mom and dad the other day that this whole process is so ironic - we get angry, frustrated, irritated, and let down throughout this entire process, yet we gladly open our cheque book to anyone (I just need to say, to ensure that it is VERY clear, that all payments related to this adoption are specifically for processing documents and required services, and nothing else).
So this evening consisted of a variety of treats to help take the bitter taste out of my mouth...Sugar high...
Carb crash...
Sleep...
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UPDATE: To add even more SHIT to the pile, there has been an announcement (for USA families) that adoptive parents are now required to be present at the court hearings of their prospective children. We have yet to hear if and how this will affect Canadian families...stay tuned.
UPDATE #2: Most recent news is that this is an issue in the United States and does not have an effect on the Canadian process. PHEW.
UPDATE #3: NEVER MIND about update #2 - looks like we are not out of the woods yet. Continue to stay tuned...
UPDATE #4: According to CAFAC families, the new requirement WILL effect us. And although we have not heard from Imagine directly yet, I am fairly confident that we will hear from them imminently relaying the same message as CAFAC. At this point, I need to let this all sink in before I post about this any further.
19 comments:
If only that chocolate could travel through space and time right into my little hands right now......
I'm so sorry this day came.
Dana
Oh my gosh Laura!!!!!!!!!!! Possibly two plane trips to Addis?!!! Ahhh!!!!!!!! I'm so sorry you are going through all this stress. It just sucks. Bring on the candy!
I don't honestly know what to say. Everything just feels like it has been said a million times. I'm just so annoyed and frustrated for you. I can't imagine starting all that paperwork over again. Again, I'm really sorry you are going through this.
xoxo
Laura,
As you've read on my blog we are going through the same updates for our homestudy and other documents as well. Where this extra $ is coming from is beyond me now that I'm not working. So scary and frustrating. And now with the rumours about the US and 2 trips needed I'm really nervous and extremely anxious.
I am feeling like I'm not sure this is EVER going to happen. There are just too many roadblocks that seem to be happening. Anyways, thanks for listening. I feel your pain and sadness! Wish we lived closer so we could eat candy and chocolate together.
Tammy
My heart would have sunk too - I am anticipating that I might have to do a second update also, and I will be so depressed.
I would make the dr's appts, because if your dr is like mine they will be weeks ahead, but hold off on the rest. I updated in December and got my crim rec check on the spot - didn't even have to wait for it to come in the mail.
And I would eat all that candy, and more. ;)
Oh, my heart would sink too! For our first update I wanted to hold off on all the appointments until absolutely neccessary, but then decided to get it over with right away. Next time I'm not sure what we'd do. This really sucks for you guys! I also didn't know that the two year update is much more complex. Thanks for the warning!
I hadn't heard anything yet about the possible two trips. I sure hope that doesn't happen for us Canadians. That would be a very unexpected HUGE expense.
I would've loved to chat with you more at the airport the other day, but it was so busy there. Maybe we'll get to meet up again sometime.
Hi Laura. My name is Anna and I've been following your blog. I don't know where to begin, but I'll start by saying, I can totally relate to everything you're saying and feeling. We were originally #13 on "list". I don't know what number we are now, but it's so slow and so frustrating! I'm sorry to hear about your home study update. I'm scared to check our mail now. I will keep you and all of us who are waiting in my prayers. Hang in there, as hard as it is.
I just read that too... about the two trips!!! WTF??? I WANT to see my girls but LEAVING them there... AH NOT EASY.. I might loose it here.
Hugs to you my dear friend
L
Huh. I did not know that. But it is possible that if the policy does change, that NIA will also change their policies and let parents stay in Ethiopia with babes instead of waiting to release the kids until the pouch arrives. Okay, maybe not, but I'm going to hope for it if indeed this does happen for us. Oy.
Hi Anna, thanks for saying hello - its nice to know that there are others who know exactly how this feels - its just too bad that there are so many of us. I noticed that your blog does not allow comments (or maybe I have just missed something :)) - if you ever need to chat, email anytime lcmorrison@shaw.ca. I would love to know more about your journey.
Laura
Okay, so this is all insanity. Do you doctor's appointments and get paperwork ready, but May is still a ways off... you'll know more before then, you will.
We JUST got word from our agency about parents having to appear in court. They said this will affect ALL adoption agencies working in Ethiopia. But we don't know much more than that right now.
Well, at least we would get to meet our babies sooner?
I'm fearful for that letter in the mail, too Laura. Our HS expired Aug so I'm holding my breath and praying we don't need to redo it all.
Anna - I'd love to know about your journey too...I also noticed there is no commenting on your blog.
Oh, I feel for you. We're currently working on our update (due mid April) and procrastinated it for a month before actually working on it...ever hopeful that we wouldn't need to. But we're immersed now, and have our meeting at AO on Monday...along with our medical updates. Oh joy, oh bliss.
Ruth
can you send me your address, I want to mail you something. Your sock eating friend Jenny
mjadachi@telus.net
We're just finishing our home study updates too (the 2-year one)... seriously fingerprinted again! Good thing we haven't committed any international crimes since the last time we were printed :-)
If you're govt takes as long to get your approval letter back to you as ours does, I suggest starting ASAP... that's the only piece we're still waiting for.
PS. Usually I like having something to actually do that makes me feel like I have some control over this whole process, but doing all this update stuff didn't achieve that for me this time. A
I am soooo sorry to hear about all this crap you guys are going through, it is so unfair that it is just one peice of negative news after the other. I really wish we could all do something to help, but at least know we are thinking of you and hoping for good news soon....before that update need to be sent in!
So I was just analyzing the database on the yahoo forum and you guys are the next family (on the database) that is requesting either gender. The ones before you are all for girls. You could be SOOOO close to perhaps a little baby boy!?!?!!
:)
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