My Family, by Sara

BEST words EVER - "This case has been closed."

It is not the "he's yours" that most adoptive parents hear while sitting in the judges chambers in Ethiopia as she grants the adoption order, but reading the words "this case has been closed" sounds just as beautiful to us.

We received Seth's printed adoption order this week. It is the most beautiful piece of paper I have ever seen. After I read it I became overwhelmed with a surge of unexpected emotions. Seeing these words makes everything SO real. I finally feel more excitement than anxiety for the first time in a very long while.

Seth IS our son and he IS coming home. Right? (well, still always a little guarded)

We are still waiting to receive Seth's birth certificate and passport, which we have been told takes up to three weeks after court. Once we have these documents they will be sent to Nairobi, Kenya to the Canadian High Commissioner's Office and they will process his travel visa. We are being told that visas are taking anywhere from 2-6 months. We really want him home for his 2nd birthday at the end of May - we will wait and see.

Kisses

After we passed court, Seth received a package of gifts that we put together for him. I of course had hoped to give these gifts to him myself, but had to leave them behind with the staff in E in hopes that he would someday get them.

We selected several items for Seth - some with meaning, others just because. In his package we had a blanket that Chad and I slept with for several months prior to court. Sara would tell everyone that "the blanket smells like Canada, so Seth knows what we smell like". We put together a small album of photos of Chad, Sara, and I. We picked two toys, one to help his development (stacking rings) and one just for fun (a little dump truck). I threw in an outfit at the last minute, which he is wearing in the photos (but did not realize that it would be featured in the pictures or I would have picked something with a bit more thought). And Sara made him a special Build-A-Bear that she picked out and made wishes on for her new little brother - when Seth presses the arm of the stuffy, he can hear a special message from each of us that says "Sara loves you...Mommy loves you...and Daddy loves you too."

Last week, we received several pictures of Seth with the package of items we left for him. It was fun to see him with everything.

This one is our favorite photo of the bunch, even though you can't see his face, it is just so precious - he is kissing the stuffy that Sara made for him. I wish I was that stuffy...

Meet our SON...then and now.

Seth Biruk Genet
his name means
Appointed One - Blessed - Heaven

Seth at referral 13 months.

Seth at 16 months.

Seth TODAY, at 20 months.

P.S. I can't believe I am able to share these with everyone!!! FINALLY!!!

Confession Friday, February 4

I confess that I've been very anxious since we heard about passing court, even more so then before court. We have not heard a peep from anyone since then - no news is good news, right? I just need to know things are moving - something - anything.

I confess that I have not made a decent meal for my family in months. I wonder how much longer we can live on toast and cereal for almost every dinner?

I confess that I always call Sara "my favorite", but since we passed court I now tell her that she is "my favorite girl". Cuz now I have MY FAVORITE BOY!!!!

I confess that the last thing I will be doing on Sunday is watching the Superbowl game. Unlike my husband, who has been planning his entire year around this single event. Who could possibly care about a stupid football game that much?

I confess that Sara has two birthday parties this weekend and I plan to nap while she is at both of them.

I confess that I LOVE Smartfood Popcorn. I can eat an entire BIG bag in one evening - sometimes it's my dinner on the weekend. Chad thinks it smells like vomit and refuses to touch the stuff, but I can get enough of it. I find that people either love it or hate it.

I confess that I have a crush on Spencer from iCarly...

I confess that I have been stessing about a snowsuit for Seth next winter. Yes, of all the things to worry about. I woke myself up the other night worrying about what size of snowsuit I need to buy for him next year. Cuz God forbid I buy one at regular price next season. I need to go shopping NOW to get something ON SALE!!!!!!

I confess that I could not have survived my stay in Ethiopia without Alicia, Cathy and Dave. They were my life support and kept me in check for the days following court. Thank God for amazing people.

I confess that if I really like something, I often buy it in multiples - shoes, shirts, pants, socks, underwear - if one is good, two or three or four is better! Sometimes I will buy the same exact color of the same thing, but most times I buy things in multiple colors.

I confess that I will begin sharing pictures of my trip to Ethiopia soon.

Overwhelmed

I am overwhelmed with gratitude. The out pour of support and compassion we have received is truly awe-inspiring; we are so blessed. We have people celebrating from one end of the country to the other and everywhere in between. We have so many amazing family and friends, we just cannot thank you enough. And it is even more overwhelming that we have people we've never met before invested in our well-being, all praying and crying and celebrating this moment with us.

I am overwhelmed with the kindness of humanity. For the court to see what was happening to us, to fight for us, to side in our favor and to grant the adoption order. Words of thanks could never suffice the feelings I have for this compassion.

I am overwhelmed with disbelief. Strangely, through this whole experience it felt like I was living someone elses life and that what was happening to us wasn't real, and now that things are in our favor, I'm still feeling this way. But instead of living a nightmare, I need someone to pinch me to know I am not dreaming and we really have a SON...

I am overwhelmed with relief. An emotional, mental, and physical weight has been lifted. I can't believe that we are actually talking about Seth coming home again. It feels scary and comforting both at the same time.

I am overwhelmed with fear. Fear that something will still go wrong. I know most people do not know the details of our story and it may have seemed that it was only a matter of time that we would have a positive outcome, but this news was truly unexpected and was not the way most families pass court. It really is a miracle that we can call Seth our son. I am still a bit stunned and guarded - we will continue to expect the unexpected and will not rest until he is finally home.

I am overwhelmed with exhaustion. We have had three months of emotions bottled up and pushed away, and finally my mind is racing with everything possible - good, bad, and everything in between. We had already begun to say good-bye, and now I have every possible feeling and emotion rushing through my body. You would think I would finally have a good night sleep, but instead I literally lay in bed ALL NIGHT LONG worrying and wondering, and still praying and hoping.

I am overwhelmed with love. My sweet precious son is a miracle. I love him so much it hurts.

Wishes, dreams and miracles...

Chad has his son.

Sara has her brother.

Seth has his family.

I have my miracle.

Confession Friday, Jan 28

I confess that we have no idea what to expect this morning - it could all be over or it could just be the beginning.

I confess that I could not stop laughing after we heard that our last court date was postponed - Chad thought there was something seriously wrong with me, but crying and screaming just seemed too obvious. I actually chuckled throughout the entire day at the ridiculousness of it all. It sometimes feels like it isn't even happening to us - that this is someone elses story and not our own. Can you say "disassociation"?

I confess that I have sometimes been avoiding people lately - pretending not to see them, walking in the other direction, acting really busy or rushed, etc. - anything to avoid having to tell them what's been happening, or should I say, what's NOT happening.

I confess that I have a couple of very special friends that I have met through this journey who have been much more than just email support over the past few months. Nothing is off limits, nothing is the wrong thing to say, and censoring is not an option. All the good, the bad, and the ugliest of uglies are exchanged. They have not wavered or ran away from the awfulness of our situation. They listen to me cry and scream through my words and I never have to feel badly for it. They don't try to "fix" or sugar-coat or give me false hopes - they are real and honest, but compassionate in their delivery. Thank you my dear friends - I know you know who you are.

I confess that it is Chad's birthday today and as of Thursday afternoon (when I'm writing this), I have still not bought his gift. But hopefully it won't matter if or what I get him, if we receive an unexpected miracle tomorrow...what better gift could there possibly be.

I confess that we booked our Vegas trip!

I confess that I have watched seasons 1 through 5 of Greys Anatomy over the last three months and just started season 6 . I cried and cried and cried at the end of the last episode of season 5 when Meredeth realizes that the guy that got ran over by the bus is George, and he and Izzy are both dieing and you don't know who will live - Oh, it was just too much. Like I haven't cried enough lately...

I confess that I hate the word "hump", I don't like the way it sounds or what it means - I think it is a really terrible English word...

I confess that we have a cleaning lady that comes every two weeks. And Chad and I spend the whole evening before running around the house tidying up and getting ready for her?????? Doesn't this defeat the whole purpose of having someone clean our house? Although she still seems to find 3 hours worth of cleaning...

I confess that Sara brings home SO much paper, clutter and "art" from school that we often end up throwing most of it away without her knowing. But when she sometimes finds it in the garbage we usually say "Oh, the cleaning lady must of done that." We just don't have the heart to say that we threw it away. Come on, there is only so much stuff we can keep.

Oh My Sara

"Mommy, you know that four would be a nice number for our family, but three is a pretty good number too!"

"Do you think Seth knows that I would be the best big sister ever?"

"You know Mommy, even if Seth doesn't come home, we can still love him in our hearts."

"If Seth doesn't come home can we finally get a dog?"

"That Seth, he's a little stinker for not coming home."

"It's OK if Seth doesn't come home - you have ME - and remember, I'm your favorite anyway!"

I wish we could all have the wisdom, logic, and confidence of a six-year-old...

Not even surprised

Guess??? Just take a wild flippin' guess...

Postponed to January 28, 2011.

Also Chad's birthday and Seth turns 20 months old...