Monday, January 31, 2011

Overwhelmed

I am overwhelmed with gratitude. The out pour of support and compassion we have received is truly awe-inspiring; we are so blessed. We have people celebrating from one end of the country to the other and everywhere in between. We have so many amazing family and friends, we just cannot thank you enough. And it is even more overwhelming that we have people we've never met before invested in our well-being, all praying and crying and celebrating this moment with us.

I am overwhelmed with the kindness of humanity. For the court to see what was happening to us, to fight for us, to side in our favor and to grant the adoption order. Words of thanks could never suffice the feelings I have for this compassion.

I am overwhelmed with disbelief. Strangely, through this whole experience it felt like I was living someone elses life and that what was happening to us wasn't real, and now that things are in our favor, I'm still feeling this way. But instead of living a nightmare, I need someone to pinch me to know I am not dreaming and we really have a SON...

I am overwhelmed with relief. An emotional, mental, and physical weight has been lifted. I can't believe that we are actually talking about Seth coming home again. It feels scary and comforting both at the same time.

I am overwhelmed with fear. Fear that something will still go wrong. I know most people do not know the details of our story and it may have seemed that it was only a matter of time that we would have a positive outcome, but this news was truly unexpected and was not the way most families pass court. It really is a miracle that we can call Seth our son. I am still a bit stunned and guarded - we will continue to expect the unexpected and will not rest until he is finally home.

I am overwhelmed with exhaustion. We have had three months of emotions bottled up and pushed away, and finally my mind is racing with everything possible - good, bad, and everything in between. We had already begun to say good-bye, and now I have every possible feeling and emotion rushing through my body. You would think I would finally have a good night sleep, but instead I literally lay in bed ALL NIGHT LONG worrying and wondering, and still praying and hoping.

I am overwhelmed with love. My sweet precious son is a miracle. I love him so much it hurts.

16 comments:

elsie hiebert said...

Your story is truly amazing and I am so excited for you.

lyndsey&kevin said...

Hey girlie... I hope you sleep soon. YOU ARE GOING tO NEED IT!!! I think Seth is going to me a mover and a shaker!!

Love ya
L

Anonymous said...

What absolutely beautiful, raw, real feelings you share! We are still in shock from your news too, and also fearful for you that something could change before it's all said and done. But the prayers continue to be answered and will continue to come as Seth's story unfolds. xo
Joan

Kendra said...

Well I hope it sinks in soon and you are able to sleep again. We were celebrating last week and will be again when that visa is issued and you can bring Seth home.

Stephanie said...

I am so happy for you and your family. I have been checking in to your blog for months now and have been hoping so much for you that you would finally get some good news...This must truly feel like a blessing to you. I wish you all the best and may the rest of this journey be smooth and joyful.

Stephanie

Hedges Family said...

You have every right to feel overwhelmed! But take solace in the fact that the feeling will fade as you dust yourself off from the one hell of a roller coaster you've been on. No worries, just because you've passed court doesn't mean the prayers have stopped...we're all with you until you bring Seth home, and then some! Here's to a speedy VISA process!

Take Care!
Tracey

BCMommy said...

Your strength and courage has been so amazing throughout this ordeal. I know it probably doesn't feel like you were strong, but there must have been a teensy sliver that held on to that hope that this WOULD happen for you. And look! It did! It is a true miracle!

I am so happy for you! Congratulations!

Claire and family

Historica said...

I am really happy for your family and I pray that Seth visa will come very soon.

thegabourysfamilyof6 said...

I am so happy for you and your family. You must be so relieved, well to a certain point. I know you cannot be totally relived until your son is home.
Debbie

Dana said...

It is real. Believe it. Seth will be home soon!

Maria said...

Now we are sending good vibes to Seth visa, so you will have him in your arms soon!! Please go back to sleep, it is the last step and you had enough hurdles!! Visa is coming and hopefully fast

Maria

emily and mike said...

This makes me happy : )
Life really is beautiful sometimes!

We'll all still be here for you during this next step as you wait for his visa. Cheering you on until the end!

Jess said...

So excited for you!!! :D

Sharla said...

I know that all of this is not the way you imagined your adoption journey, but I am glad that now that Seth is legally your son, you can start to allow yourself to love him without abandon. I know that the day you bring him home another shout of joy will go up all across Canada.

shannon said...

Laura,
I still do not have any of the right words to express how trilled I am at this outcome,
I do not know the details but I do know that this was yet another miracle that came out of such hard times.
I also loved watching a whole country cheer for you !
I still feel such gratitude that we are still on this journey and each child that finds a family truly amazing.
Most days I am still in awe that Imagine is up and running and feel overwhelmed most days.
So excited for you and your growing family.
I sure hope that Seth Visa comes in the shortest time record ever !
Look forward to following your next trip to him.
Much love
Shannon

Lavonne said...

i am overwhelmed to learn that miracles still really do happen.

i am overwhelmed by my feelings of joy and happiness for you.

i am overwhelmed with love for this little boy i have never met but who i know will be best buds with my son.