NINE

That's right. Nine long months of waiting and no end in sight. Not much to say - not much to report. In fact, blogging used to be fun, motivating, and therapeutic, but lately blogging has become boring and uneventful...there is only so much adoption talk I can blog about. Honestly, I am even having difficulty finding words of encouragement for my fellow waiting bloggers - sorry.

Is it really spring?

Sara: "Mommy, there is lots of snow, all the grass is cover up again."
Mommy: "Yes, I hope it goes away soon so spring can come."
Sara: "How many sleeps."
Mommy: "Lots of sleeps."
Sara: "Mommy, because there is snow again, does that mean Santa will come back?"
Mommy: "That would be nice, wouldn't it?"

I'm tired.

I'm tired...sick, exhausted, drained, bored or fed up...any of these words would work.

I'm tired of waiting.
I'm tired of the delays.
I'm tired of people asking "when?".
I'm tired of saying "Maybe next month."
I'm tired of no referral news.
I'm tired of blogging about the wait.
I'm tired of feeling like crap.
I'm tired of wondering.
I'm tired of having to defend my choices.
I'm tired of repeating myself over and over.
I'm tired of trying to stay busy to distract myself.
I'm tired of being my own advocate.
I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me.
I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself.
I'm tired of being consumed by this.
I'm tired of this running my life.
I'm tired of being excited for everyone else.
I'm tired of caring.
I'm tired of thinking about this all day long.
I'm tired of the drama.
I'm tired of complaining.
I'm tired of the system.
I'm tired of watching each month go by.
I'm tired of having to ask so many questions.
I'm tired of being asked all the questions.
I'm tired of getting my hopes up.
I'm tired of trying to plan our life around this.
I'm tired of the unknown.
I'm tired of the process.
I'm tired of being tired.

I'm tired.

What are you tired of?

I NEED YOUR HELP

I am in the process of drafting a letter to my (Manitoba) government regarding its policy to close a domestic adoption file once an international adoption file is opened.

I am hoping that my fellow bloggers from across Canada can help me out on this one. I need to know the policies and procedures regarding this issue in your province. You can leave a comment or email me lcmorrison@shaw.ca. Here are a few key questions for you to consider:

Does your province allow you to have both a domestic and international application open at the same time? For example, in Manitoba, once our dossier leaves Canada, our domestic file is closed. However, I know that in Alberta a family can keep their domestic file open and wait for an international referral at the same time.

If your province closes domestic files, could you please describe the rational as to this policy?

If your province allows families to keep both domestic and international files open simultaneously, could you please describe the rational as to this policy? What is the procedure for ensuring that an international referral and domestic birthmom do not happen at the same time? If you receive a child (domestic or international), what happens to the other file?

Do you have a contact within your province of someone I could speak with about this issue? Access to rationale and policy documents, etc…

Thank you for your assistance.

HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE

International Women's Day, March 8, 2009

Home Economics High School Text Book, 1954

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.

Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Have we ever come a long way...

As I was about to press "publish post" Chad says "Ah, the good old days" :) I replied "While you are downstairs can you bring up the clothes from the dryer and put a new load in the wash. Oh, and by the way, I am have a hair appointment tomorrow after work, so you have to pick up Sara and you are on your own for dinner." And he called up from downstairs "I can't remember, can your black pants go in the dryer?" Life is GREAT!

Nothing

Months ago, with each event/meeting I planned I would get a little excited inside thinking "the next time I am at this meeting" or "the next time I see these people"..."I will be sharing my referral news". All of these moments dawned on me the other day when I was sitting in a quarterly meeting at work and remembered that this was one of the first meetings that I thought "the next time I sit in this room I will be showing everyone pictures of our new babe." I would play out these moments in my mind - what I would say, how I would feel, how others would react...but now as these events come and go I have nothing to say, nothing to share, nothing...