Saturday, September 05, 2009

Well...

here it is, the Imagine Restructuring Plan. So why am I not celebrating? My heart has been bruised so many times over the past few years, I am just not ready to take "the leap" and believe in all this 100%. I am in tears and I don't even really know why...they just keep coming and I can't seem to stop. I think all the waiting and anticipation (and still more to come) has really taken a toll on me. I don't want to come across as ungrateful - because I truly feel blessed that we have been given this potential opportunity and that moving forward is even an option for us. I just cannot seem to find a place of contentment - hopeful, yes (this has gotten me through, of which I am grateful), but joyful, celebratory, or peace of mind, not just yet...

5 comments:

Rana and Yvan said...

Laura,

Hope is something no matter how many times it is stepped on, kicked around, beaten up etc...seems to stick around.

Joy on the other hand - you will have many moments of it...but the true joy and celebration you will probably guard until you have your wee one in your arms.

Thinking of you always,

Rana

Carolyn said...

I know what you mean- it is hard to get your hopes up because every time you do they are crushed. I know what it is like to try to protect yourself from getting hurt again. I think that this new information is positive- I see it as a step closer to making your dreams come true.

Carolyn

shannon said...

It sure has been an emotional time.
I hope the weekend brought you some peace.
I am forever grateful that I have been able to vote YES !!!! and agree the range of emotions keep coming.
Shannon

Janice said...

I think we all have our guard up as none of us wants to get "crushed" again. I'm so happy and excited and nervous for the results of the vote. I agree with Rana, the true joy will come if we are able to see these adoptions through to the point where we have our children in our arms...And now the tears.

Janice

Dana said...

It will happen Laura. We will bring our boys home!!!

Dana