Lately, I have no idea what to do with myself. Over the past few months I have been fighting so hard to get to this point, I didn't think about what I would do when I got here. I am feeling so vulnerable...YES, I can say with (almost) absolute confidence that "I will bring my baby home", but the "when" is so beyond me that I am having difficulty comprehending what this even means for us. Of course, we have never known the answer to "when" but we certainly had a indication or at least a heads up of our potential wait and delays.
We were sooooo close - in fact I could actually see the finish line, I could see our future and our completed family. Now we sit in more limbo and unknown then ever before. Will we know more next week? Next month? Next year? I can truly say I have no idea whatsoever.
4 comments:
Hi Laura,
If it helps, I know exactly how you feel. I am so excited to be at this point but so exhausted from all the emotions I had to go through the past few months to get to this point. I have said "and we were so close" so many times. I too would love to have an idea of how long the wait might be. Hopefully soon that will be made more clear. I now get excited for every new update and every new bit of info. as I'm sure you do.
Hi Laura,
I completely empathize w/ the flip between thankfulness of what has come from a fairly dismal situation, to the feeling of "when, when, when" (and trying desperately not to flip even further into, "if"). But, I believe everything happens for a reason and that our children, OUR CHILDREN were/are simply not ready yet. Perhaps they are alive already, perhaps they are not even born. Regardless, the timing is just not right. But as with birth, adoption is a miracle and waiting on this miracle will make it seem even more incredible...if we can just hang in there. I'm pulling for you...and for me too :)
I completely understand and know exactly what you mean. We were about a month behind you regarding when our file reached Ethiopia. I was so focused over the summer trying to get to this point and now that we're here I'm so scared and uncertain. I just can't get excited yet. Maybe that will change when the first referral finally happens. Until then I will enjoy my little J, watching her right now play her little piano, lol.
But we're all in this together and I am grateful for you and my other adoption buddies.
Waiting is horrible, but at least you are waiting for things to actually happen, instead of waiting to hear if things are going to happen. It is a small, but very happy little difference. It will happen, and I am still amazed and blown away by what all of you did to make it happen!
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