Saturday, October 24, 2009

So what now? Good question.

Lately, I have no idea what to do with myself. Over the past few months I have been fighting so hard to get to this point, I didn't think about what I would do when I got here. I am feeling so vulnerable...YES, I can say with (almost) absolute confidence that "I will bring my baby home", but the "when" is so beyond me that I am having difficulty comprehending what this even means for us. Of course, we have never known the answer to "when" but we certainly had a indication or at least a heads up of our potential wait and delays.

We were sooooo close - in fact I could actually see the finish line, I could see our future and our completed family. Now we sit in more limbo and unknown then ever before. Will we know more next week? Next month? Next year? I can truly say I have no idea whatsoever.


Janice said...

Hi Laura,

If it helps, I know exactly how you feel. I am so excited to be at this point but so exhausted from all the emotions I had to go through the past few months to get to this point. I have said "and we were so close" so many times. I too would love to have an idea of how long the wait might be. Hopefully soon that will be made more clear. I now get excited for every new update and every new bit of info. as I'm sure you do.

Ashleigh, Ben, Noah and Tait said...

Hi Laura,
I completely empathize w/ the flip between thankfulness of what has come from a fairly dismal situation, to the feeling of "when, when, when" (and trying desperately not to flip even further into, "if"). But, I believe everything happens for a reason and that our children, OUR CHILDREN were/are simply not ready yet. Perhaps they are alive already, perhaps they are not even born. Regardless, the timing is just not right. But as with birth, adoption is a miracle and waiting on this miracle will make it seem even more incredible...if we can just hang in there. I'm pulling for you...and for me too :)

Tammy said...

I completely understand and know exactly what you mean. We were about a month behind you regarding when our file reached Ethiopia. I was so focused over the summer trying to get to this point and now that we're here I'm so scared and uncertain. I just can't get excited yet. Maybe that will change when the first referral finally happens. Until then I will enjoy my little J, watching her right now play her little piano, lol.
But we're all in this together and I am grateful for you and my other adoption buddies.

D Dae said...

Waiting is horrible, but at least you are waiting for things to actually happen, instead of waiting to hear if things are going to happen. It is a small, but very happy little difference. It will happen, and I am still amazed and blown away by what all of you did to make it happen!