I was in a course last week and my instructor was telling a story about his family - I can't even remember the whole story or the point he was trying to make, because I became so overwhelmed with rage and shock at the beginning of the story that the rest became a blur.
His story started something like "I have all brothers. Well I have a sister too, but she is so much younger then me that she is more like a distant or adopted relative..."
WHAT??? I had to look at my friend beside me to see if she heard the same thing and by the look on her face, she had. Did he really say that?? Are people really that ignorant? After it happened, I looked around the room and no one even flinched, which made me second guess my judgement - was it only me that found this unacceptable? Was I the only crazy adoptive parent that found it offensive? Was I overreacting, considering I really have not been in a good place with our adoption lately - maybe I was being too hypersensitive?
I debated saying something after class, I should have reacted - but I was stunned. I wondered whether he would have even remembered saying it. I am sure that he really did not mean to offend and said it without thinking, but it is still not right. I even tried rationalizing what he said to make it OK, but I could not come up with one logical example.
I try so hard to send a positive message about adoption whenever I can, then in moments like this I realize how much work still needs to be done.