It's hard to remember who I was before infertility and adoption - or what I used to think about or did with my time. I know I am not the same person I was before all this. My emotions seemed to have met themselves in the middle and I rarely react to anything anymore - good or bad.
Will I find who I am suppose to be when this is all over? Will I go back to who I was before all this? - Do I want to go back to who I was? Or will I, inevitable, evolve into a new version of myself? Or is this who I am now?
We have been in a continuous state of uncertainty for over 8 years. We have tackled (and sometimes have been tackled ourselves) every-single barrier/reminder that is thrown in front of us along the way. We are always on the edge of our seats, wondering when the next bomb will drop. When (or if) this ever ends, what will be the next weight tossed upon our shoulders? Will I be able to tackle that too? My life has been in constant disorder for so long now, what if I have become come one of those people who is so used to chaos in their life that I won't know how to live without it?
Will life ever be 'normal' again?