Friday, July 03, 2009

Why do I even bother?

Because I NEVER receive the answers I want.
Because it is always a vague reply.
Because I can predict the answers before I ask.
Because it is always the same answer every single time.
Because I always feel like crap afterward.
Because I am always expecting more then what I get.

So we have now been "only two months away" since October and recently, the time has extended even longer. It has taken from January to July (over 6 months) to get through the May08 referrals (and longer for girls), which means, realistically we could be waiting well into or past December for our referral - OMG OMG, writing that just gave me a mini panic attack.

Remember a few months ago when I was feeling really good...well lately, the word "CRAP" comes to mind when I think about how I have been feeling. And not the kind that just sits there, but the kind you step in and gets stuck on the bottom of your shoe. Lovely, just lovely.

My marathon high and distraction is officially over - I knew it was too good to last. Will this EVER end??????????? I can't take this much longer...


Carolyn said...

It is so hard to stay positive in this hard process. I know that it feels like it will never end and I wish I could cheer you up but I am just as depressed. Hang in there.


Anonymous said...

I love you...thats it thats all!

I know it doesn't make it better but please know I mean it from the deapest darkest corner of my heart...I would fix it if I could!


Anonymous said...

Anonymous was Michelle by the way....

Rana and Yvan said...

I wonder the exact same thing some days...but hope keeps me going!

Dana said...

I never write, but always read. I am right there with you DTE June 30, 2008. And OMG is right. It is getting very, very hard to stay positive. It will happen, and it will be worth it.....blah, blah, blah. I never thought this process would be this hard.

Sorry, this isn't very uplifting, but I wanted you to know that there are other people that feel your pain.

Sharla said...

Perhaps it's time to set your sights on triathlons?!?!

I won't get into the things you've heard a million times before but just know that I wish things were different for you.