They stole so much more...

See the latest news on the Imagine bankruptcy at: Globe and Mail; CTV News Toronto (video); Winnipeg Free Press; Waterloo Recorder; Cambridge Now; Cambridge Times; and Guelph Mercury. For more background about what happened check out this post from last summer.

We have waited for this day for a long time, yet it seems so inconsequential give the magnitude and impact they left behind for so many families. Sue and Rick Hayhow caused more hurt and pain than they could ever really pay for. They did so much more than steal money – they stole hopes and dreams and wishes - they stole time and memories and celebrations – they stole innocence and integrity and sincerity of the adoption experience. The sadness and devastation they caused has left permanent scares for many people that may never heal.

I am not angry – I am disappointed and saddened by their actions. Consumed with greed and preying on vulnerability – how much more pathetic can someone really be?

I wonder what they are feeling about everything that has happened. I wonder if they have any regrets (besides getting caught). I wonder if they even believe they did anything wrong. I wonder if they feel any compassion whatsoever. I wonder what they would say to me if I were face to face with them. I wonder...

Confession Friday - Vegas Edition

I confess that we went to see “O” and it was by far my favorite Cirque du Soleil I have seen. It was amazing - I just can't believe how they used the water in the show. Highly recommended!!!

I confess that I don’t understand why anyone would pay to have their picture taken with a fat man wearing a bra and fishnet stockings.

I confess that we went for dinner on Wednesday evening (in Utah - we were there for Chad’s work conference after Vegas) and the waitress asked to see my ID after I ordered a drink – well, I almost hugged her. But then I thought I must be dreaming and said “Oh, you must be required to ask everyone for ID?” AND she replied “No, only anyone under 30.” DID YOU HEAR THAT???? UNDER 30!!!! Not bad, hey? Not bad at all.

I confess that I wonder how much those workers get paid handing out the sex cards all night long. I can still hear the clicking of the cards in my head.

I confess that I was so temped to call one of the numbers on the sex cards, just to see if the woman in the picture is the same one in person.

I confess that I am a cheap gambler. I only like playing the nickel slots, but most times I had to settle with the quarter slots cuz the nickel slots were really hard to find AND when I finally found them, they were surrounded by old ladies…

I confess that I am SOOOO addicted to tea. I actually planned my entire day around where I could find hot water. Yes, all I need is hot water cuz I ALWAYS carry tea bags in my purse - I never leave home without them!

I confess that Chad and I sat by the hotel pool one afternoon and I ordered one of those “OMG, who would order that ridiculously over sided gluttonous” slushy drinks and I drank the WHOLE thing. It was SOOOOOOO yummy!

I confess that even though I was asked for ID, I'm not so young anymore - my poor feet are killing me from all the walking we did. BUT I refused to wear sneakers when I got dressed up in the evening; despite the cramping and blistered feet, I still chose fashion over comfort.

I confess that I ate and ate and ate and ate ALL week long...I refuse to put myself on the scale until next week.

I confess that it was so strange having people smoking around us in the casinos. I have definitely become a smoke snob and we would move if someone was smoking too close to us.

I confess that I had the BEST steak dinner of my entire life at the Mon Ami Gabi at the Paris Hotel overlooking the Bellagio fountain.

I confess that we only took 4 pictures while we were in Vegas, and two of them were in the last couple hours cuz we were feeling so bad for not taking any.

Confession Friday, April 1

I confess that it is April fools and I can't think of any good tricks to play on Chad.

I confess that we were told that we would likely hear good news by the end of last week, BUT it is the end of a NEW week and we are STILL waiting...GRRRRRRRRR.

I confess that I NEED this snow to just GO AWAY! Come on already, ENOUGH!

I confess that on most nights I go to bed between 8-9pm. I love love love sleeping. And if I don't get my sleep I am literally nonfunctional the next day. It excites me when Sara has a playdate or birthday party on a Saturday afternoon, cuz all I can think about is my wonderful glorious restful nap.

I confess that we went to see the Watoto African Children's Choir last weekend and we enjoyed them so much.

I confess that my nephew didn't know whether to laugh or cry when he saw our bird. This is his laugh-cry face.

I confess that my confessions are pretty pathetic this week.

Our 22 month old munchkin

And what exactly is our little man up to these days...

He likes playing with toys that move.
His favor foods are injera and spaghetti.
He's not walking yet, but almost.
He has a 2 hour nap everyday.
He can say a few words.
He gained 2 lbs this month and is now 26 lbs.

BUT, he sometimes hits the other children while playing :( (I guess we will have to work on that when he gets home)...so I've titled the following picture "Trouble" - Seth "don't mess with me" Morrison!

Confession Friday, March 25

I confess that I asked Sara the other day how old she thought I was. She thought for a moment and said "65?" - "NO, that's how old Grandma is!" - "OK, then maybe you're like 50?" I stopped the conversation at that point...

I confess that I PVRed the final episode of Hannah Montana so we (OK fine, so "I") wouldn't miss it. When Sara and I were watching, Sara got bored halfway through and went to her room to play. I kept calling to her "Sara, come back and finish watching!" - because sitting with a six-year-old and enjoying a children's show just seems much better than watching it alone.

I confess that our refrigerator has become the "Shrine of Seth" over the passed few months. I literally have no more magnets to hold up his pictures. Sara said the other day "We're going to take those down when Seth comes home, right? We keep ALL those on the fridge only because he is not home yet, right mom?"

I confess that Sara was looking through her "birds and bees" book, called "It's Not the Stork" (great book by the way), the other day and said "Look at this, I know that is the testicles" as she pointed with confidence to the umbilical cord of the newborn??? Clearly her brother is not home yet. I think I should probably read that book WITH her again.

I confess that I can't stand it when parents call genitals by nicknames. A nose is a nose. An arm is an arm. A toe is a toe. And a vagina is a vagina. What the hell is a foo-foo, front bum, pee-pee, too-too, hoo-ha, wee-wee, la-la, ya-ya, ding-ding, nu-nu, pee-wee, cha-cha, whoo-whoo, etc... Come on people, seriously, read these names and tell me they don't sound absolutely ridiculous. V-A-G-I-N-A and P-E-N-I-S, say it with me, they aren't bad words.

I confess that we were told this week that things are looking "positive"... yet a WHOLE batch of families have just passed us by yet AGAIN. I just want to cry.

I confess that Seth's update pictures should be coming today or Monday. YIPPEE!!!!

I confess that I'm becoming a little bored with blogging lately. I'm just feeling kind of blah and don't have much adoption news to talk about these days - well, I guess I could go on and on and on about the continuous and agonizing waiting and unknowns, but I'm not here to torture you.

I confess that everyone needs to check out my fellow bloggers new website Adoption Magazine. It is an online source for information, support, and encouragement to those whose lives have been touched by adoption. AND keep an eye out, a few of my posts will be featured in the magazine too!

I confess that I LOVE Keen shoes. I have had one pair of shoes for a while and just got a new pair of sandals for my birthday and I am itching to wear them this summer. These are two pairs that I have.

Confession Friday, March 18

I confess that I have an opportunity to send Seth another care package with a friend who will traveling (VERY SOON I hope) to pick up her sweet boy and bring him home. I am completely stumped - what do we send our 2-year-old son? I plan on sending a few more pictures of our family, but have no idea whatsoever what else to send our special boy - a toy, a book, a puzzle, art supplies??? It needs to be small and light-weight for my friend to travel with. HELP!!!! What would you send if you had a 2-year-old son living in Ethiopia????????

I confess that I am CRAZY busy at work right now.

I confess that I sometimes get sad and jealous when I see SO many people passing us by in this adoption journey. Of course I am also happy for everyone at every point along the way - referral, passing court, documents to Nairobi, visa, travel - BUT it's sometimes just so hard to take when we have been waiting for so long, have so many unanswered questions, and still have no end in sight (or if there is an end at all). I know everyone has their own hurtles and crosses to bare, but it is hard not feel a bit sorry for myself and sometimes wish that it was us instead of them - Does that make me an awful person?

I confess that my grandma was the most hilarious senior, but only after she hit about 85 years. She was pretty quick in her old age (up until the last couple years at least). As a teenager I used to die of embarrassment by some of the things she would say to me, and in front of my boyfriend of all people... I look back now and I just howl at the thought. One of my favorites was the last thing she would say to you before she said good-bye - "If you can't be good...be careful" (this coming from my Roman Catholic grandmother). Another good one was when I took her from lunch to Boston Pizza and while she was looking at the menu she said "Oh well, will you look at that, a nooner (pizza). That's what your grandfather used to come home for in the middle of the afternoon." AHHHH, STOP, you're burning my ears.

I confess that Chad picked up our new armoire this week - I love it!!! But that's not the confession. When he went to pick it up he went to the back door of the store to load it in the van. One of the girls working there opened the big garage door and said she would be back soon and began to close the door. As she was walking away Chad slipped inside to stay warm before the door closed. As he was standing there waiting he overheard the girl say to her co-worker "OMG, you have to see the guy who is here picking up. He's sooooo cute!!!!" Well, OMG is right - talk about stroking an ego that does not need anymore stroking. He of course came straight home and told me while he literally strutted like a chicken while telling me the story. Oh please...

I confess that I am sooooo looking forward to our Vegas trip next month - I so need to get out of my own head.

I confess that spring cannot come fast enough. GO snow GO!!!

I confess that I NEVER answer the phone when I'm at home. The phone will be sitting right next to me and if I don't recognize the number (and even sometimes when I do), I just let it ring - Chad will jump up and run across the room before I'll reach over and answer it. Chad has accepted this about me and doesn't even question who will answer the phone, he knows it's him. AND if and when I do answer it, it is certain that the conversation will be a short one. IF you have had the opportunity to talk to me on the phone for more than five minutes consider yourself very special. Same goes with answering the door...even when I know who it is.

I confess that it takes me over a week to adjust to daylight savings - in the fall and spring. This goes for time changes when I travel too. In fact, I usually stay on MY time when travelling, then I don't have to adjust to a new time. I leave my watch on MY time and I always have to count to see what time it is whereever I am. However, this did not work in Ethiopia with the 9 hour time difference...

Confession Friday, March 11

I confess that I have moved from my level 2 stress ("Oh that hit me across the back of the head and I didn't even see it coming and the thought of eating makes me ill") into my level 1 stress ("Oh that really ticks me off and I can't stop thinking about it so I'm going to eat my face off and maybe that will make it go away") over the past month and I have gained back all my level 2 stress weight loss, plus a couple more...

I confess that our son has been in institutional care for over 18 months. It has been almost 8 months since our referral and 6 weeks since we passed court and THERE IS NO END IN SIGHT. The ONLY person who is paying the price for unnecessary delays is our sweet precious son.

I confess that I need a distraction. I HAVE to get my mind off this adoption madness. Any suggestions? Maybe with my first confession a good idea might be to get my ass back on the treadmill.

I confess that I sometimes bring all of Seth's pictures up onto my computer screen and magnify each one really big so I can study each and every speck of him up close.

I confess that Sara passed her swimming this week and I was absolutely shocked - I had even been preping Sara for the bad news for weeks, saying "Did you try your best at swimming?"..."Well, that's all that matters to daddy and I!" So when she showed me her swimming report and badge, I didn't say "Way to go! Good for you!", instead I said "WHAT? You passed? I can't believe it! Are you sure? Did he give you the right report card?" - probably not one of my proudest mom moments.

I confess that I have never taken my wedding rings off for over 12 years (well, OK, I probably have at some point, but I can't remember when that would have been). BUT last weekend I developed a small rash under my ring - red and itchy. HMMM?? I took my rings off for the weekend and the rash got better, so I put them back on for work on Monday. By Monday afternoon the rash had gotten worse than before (so I of course took the rings off again). It is now Friday and the rash is still there...???

Speaking of rings...

I confess that I lost my first engagement ring after two weeks of Chad giving it to me. AND even worse, the diamond was passed down from my Great Aunt - talk about guilt. When it happened, we were at Chad's parents cabin (or "cottage" as Janice would say ;)) and I was wearing it at one point and then I wasn't... - lake, sand, or garbage are my guesses. So for over a month I was ringless while my new ring was being made - it was hard when people were congratulating us and the first thing they would ask was "Let's see THE ring?" By the time I got the second ring our engagement had already become old news...

And since we're still on the topic of wedding rings...

I confess that my wedding rings were featured on an ad card with the photographer we used for our wedding - pretty cool, I think at least. No one knows it us, but we do!

Confession Friday, March 4

I confess that I have not been in the mood for confessions lately.

I confess I have a big zit on the top of my lip and it is killing me...ouch!

I confess that it is my birthday tomorrow and I am turning 37. Am I still in my mid-30s or do I have to say that I am in my late-30s now? Double ouch!! No plans and that's OK by me, just want to be home with my fam. And I'm sure everyone can guess what my birthday wish will be...

I confess that Chad calls me "Big Bird" - for my height...and my big nose :) - and surprisingly this is a complement to me!!

I confess that we found out this week that Seth has the Chicken Pox. Poor little man. I wish I was the one cuddling him and rubbing calamine lotion on all his itchy bumps.

I confess that Chad and I had a dishwasher-emptying stand off last week and I finally lost after four days, I couldn't stand it anymore. I emptied it and then I filled it up with all the dishes sitting on top of the counter, THEN had to emptied it AGAIN the same day...

I confess that I was a bit disappointed that no one commented on my last two posts. Don't get me wrong, I don't think anyone owes me a comment, I've just come to expect at least a couple comments from my peeps...does that make me a blog snob???

I confess that Sara and I went to see the new Justin Bieber movie Never Say Never, and I really liked it. That kid really does have talent and determination. OH MAN, I've been "Biebered" and I didn't even see it coming...

I confess that, reluctantly and slowly, we have started working on Seth's bedroom - the theme is "The World", with green, orange, blue, and grey colors, but nothing too fancy.

I confess that I am getting as sick and tired as you are having to listen to our constant adoption drama as I am having to live it. When will it END so we can just be "normal"? It has been 5 weeks since we passed court and still no news about our documents. I liked what my friend said the other day - we ARE "The Song That Doesn't End" and just as annoying.


I confess that I remember watching this show when I was a child. I loved that Lamb Chop. I guess I really am 37!!!

Laughter is contagious.

Sara and I were driving to work/school the other day and heard this on the radio. We both could not help but laugh along too - laughter really is contagious. There is no better therapy than a good laugh...enjoy.

Yes, ALL the donations were delivered!!!!

I had the privilege of delivering ALL the donations we collected to three orphanages in Ethiopia.

Kingdom Vision International (KVI) is the orphanage where Seth lived. KVI has three locations: Addis Ababa, Adama (Nazareth) and Wolaita. The picture on their homepage is the court yard of KVI Addis. I brought donations with me to KVI Adama, about 200 km south of Addis, when I met Seth.

Faya Orphanage (and Vulnerable Children Society) supports children with and without HIV. Faya is located in Adama and the orphanage is home to children abandoned due to poverty or relinquished by loving families who could not provide for their children, and is the permanent home of many children living with HIV/AIDS. Faya also supports a House 2 House community program, which provides care to children and families affected by AIDS/HIV in the community. My favor moment at Faya was when we were about to leave and two little twin boys, about 3-years-old, were playing in the van we came in and they refused to get out of the van - They were having so much fun pretending to drive. Finally, they had to be carried off in protest. They were so sweet - I wanted to let them play in there all afternoon.

AHOPE for Children is an orphanage located in Addis Ababa that serves children infected with HIV. Many of the children are adopted by families in the United States and some to Spain. I went with the other Imagine families I met and we were able to play and interact with the children for quite some time. We brought along candy for the children, which made us all BIG hits!!! My favor moment was when I showed the children pictures of Seth, Chad, and Sara - I was literally swarmed by children, all wanting to look at and hold the pictures. They would point to each picture and say "Chad-Canada. Sara-Canada. Biruk-Ethiopia." over and over as they examined each photo. It was a lot of fun! I have many pictures from AHOPE, but unfortunately I am unable to share them publicly; but I thought this one couldn't hurt - it was my favorite time with all the kids when we were looking at the pictures...